Here’s to Throwing Out the Rules and Getting Married Differently!
Weddings are big business, with the average wedding here in the UK said to cost a staggering £27,161. No, that’s not a typo, that really is over £27k.
Wedding website hitched where we found the research we’re quoting also reports that the average cost of a wedding cake is around £300 whilst the average wedding dress costs £1,209. Yup, £300 for some cake and well over a grand on a dress.
Call me crazy, but do I really want to spend over a thousand pounds on a dress I’ll wear for a few hours? The answer is no I bloody don’t.
Look, if you’ve got money to burn – go for it, I have no issue with people choosing to spend preposterous amounts on stuff if they can, but let’s face it, just like the De Beers diamond campaign back in the 1900s which told us “If you really care you’ll go hungry for the next year so she can wear a giant diamond on her finger” a lot of wedding costs are vastly inflated and frankly unnecessary.
Nothing need cost the earth – it’s the sentimental value that matters
My issue with spending a thousand pounds on a dress, is that people do it because they’ve been brainwashed into believing they have to spend a fortune in order to look beautiful and for the day to be special, which is utter bollocks.
It’s nothing but marketing rhetoric dreamed up to inflate the prices of pretty much any supplier involved in the wedding industry; to make people feel inferior, like they need to prove themselves with ostentatious gestures, and here’s the rub, getting into thousands of pounds of debt for many years as a direct result.
Getting into serious debt for the sake of saying “I do” makes no logical sense and if it makes sense to you, or perhaps you feel that over £1,000 on a dress isn’t much, then i’m happy for you, but this blog probably isn’t going to be the right blog for you.
So that leads us nicely into the purpose of this blog. What’s it for? Who’s it for? What’s the unique spin? I’m a regular person who has no problem being called a either a hippy or weird. I like weird. Sure I’m older than your average bride (early 40s if you’re asking), and whilst I’ve got a decent career and am relatively comfortable, I’m by no means well off.
I drive a decent car but it’s old and I live in a nice house but it’s far too small. The most I’ve spent on a pair of shoes were some Irregular Choice boots which were a hundred and something quid. If I buy a dress, it’s usually under £70. I’m showing off, honestly, it’s usually under about £50.
I’m just as at home rummaging around second hand shops as I am wafting around Afflecks Palace (I’m a wannabe Manc, but actually live much too far away to pretend I am) or browsing those largely dreadful disposable fast fashion websites for sequin kimonos or ordering custom glittery holographic fringed capes from clever people who can make stuff on Etsy.
I like pretty things and have no qualms in paying good money to talented people who make beautiful or unusual things, but I don’t have money to burn and will not be spending a thousand pounds on my wedding dress because a) I can’t afford to and b) I don’t care what the mainstream wedding industry tells me.
I have no savings whatsoever, pay a meagre amount into a pathetic pension fund that I simply avoid thinking about (my anxiety has ramped up just typing that last sentence) and my greatest extravagance is probably my absurdly large Gin collection and my even larger collection of glittery footwear.
A relationship built on flow
As I’m in the early stages of planning my own wedding (he popped the question just 48 hours ago, and as I’m a serial blogger, of course pretty much the first thing I did was register this domain) so I thought I might as well share my finds along the way. If you’re curious, you can read an account of my wedding proposal here.
Of course there are heaps of websites dedicated to brides who want to do it differently, Rock n’ Roll bride is a shining example of a fantastic alternative wedding blog, so I don’t have any lofty pretensions, I’m doing this primarily for me to deal with the highs and lows of planning an alternative wedding on a budget, and if people visit the blog and like what I’m doing, cool!
Our big day
We have no clue when we’ll get married, though I have a vague notion it will be April or May in 2021. We’re both hopelessly hedonistic and prefer instant gratification so are much more likely to end up spaffing what we do save on a night out or a holiday, and at this stage we’ve only got a very vague idea of how much it will all cost and honestly, the whole adulting side of things can go and get in the sea for now.
Frankly we don’t care how long it takes. We are both pretty laid back people and our whole relationship has been built on flow. Going with our instincts, everything has been very fluid and relaxed to this point and we’re not about to let a little wedding change that or see us become preoccupied with plans for the day, and I’m definitely not planning on letting the stress or princess syndrome turn me into a Bridezilla.
That’s not to say we don’t think of our wedding as being an important day, of course it is, and it will be a hugely joyful day for us, but we just don’t feel it’s a day worth stressing over or getting into debt for and if there’s one thing we know, it’s that we’re not going to do things the way the mainstream wedding industry tells us we should.
If you like the sound of that, then we’d be delighted to share our journey towards married life, as well as our thoughts and eclectic finds with you.